© Pixabey

 

I find myself in an open relationship with Motivation and Procrastination.

And their friends.

We never meet in full formation, which I believe would be one of the world’s greatest paradoxes, but we do succeed in making discrete booty calls.

Say I meet with Procrastination.

Then Guilt, her super awful friend, always and I mean ALWAYS joins in. And she’s not coming alone either. No sir, she’s inviting all her shitty friends. And here I am, having to deal with Anxiety, Bad mood and Grumpiness too, when I only signed up for a private party, doing non productive things.  

Now all I can think of is life would be so much better if Procrastination would understand it’s in her best interest to spend some time together, just the two of us. And I shall willingly devote my time to her, even if I know what we have can never be a healthy relationship.

And when I’ve heard enough chatter on how much time I’ve wasted and how I’m not doing anything right with my life and how disappointed I am with myself, I kick out all of them, take a deep breath and call for Motivation.

But she’s playing it cool and makes me work for it. She wants to teach me that she’s not to be taken for granted.

Now I have to prepare myself for her. Make her feel wanted and appreciated. So I start looking for help from people who inspire me.

What usually works is reading or watching stuff with writers I like. I also listen to podcasts with dudes and dudettes who’ve done things and are far less lazier than I am. And then I get pissed and tell myself

I am done with watching others do their thing, I need to get my shit together.

This is the time when Motivation sniffs I’m onto something. This is the time when I’m worthy enough for her to finally show up. So she comes by and we share a long hug and before we let go she whispers to my ear:

‘I have a surprise for you’.

She let’s go, opens the door and invites a friend in, Productivity.

Now that’s a super awesome threesome we’re having, for this is the time when I feel focused and invincible and great things happen.

I am Wonder Woman, baby!

  • Submitting stuff to magazines and websites? Done.
  • Article and story drafts that need editing? Done and done.
  • Working on a project that’s been postponed since forever? So done.
  • Dealing with financial shitty stuff? You will not piss me off today because you are capital D done.

‘This is so nice’, Motivation says.

‘You make everything seem so possible’, I tell her.

‘We should do it more often’, says Productivity.

© Pixabey

And life unfolds like this for several days and we share “I love yous” and “Forever” and I am the happiest girl alive.

And then one night, my phone buzzes and I receive a text.

“I miss you, call me.

xx

Procrastination.”

***

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